Sleeping Chika
by chiruchiru-chan
Summary: The Zombie-loan cast join to tell the heartwarming tale of Sleeping beauty , with Chika as princess, Michiru as prince Phillip- wait. The Hell? T for many curses from Shito.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Z-loan**

**_Sleeping Beauty_**

**Cast:**

**Sotsetsu: The genius behind this movie**

**Shito Tachibana: Narrator**

**Chika: The hero(ine)**

**Zen, Toko and shuiji: The three good fairies**

**Shiba: The father**

**Koyomi: the mother**

**Momoka: Maleficent**

**Michiru: Prince Phillip **

Sotsetsu: Let the acting begin!

Shito: In a far away, long ago, lived a king and his fair queen.

Koyomi: Like I would ever marry him…

Shiba: Your head says no, but your heart says yes.

Chika: STOP FLIRTING!

Sotsetsu: Shut up!

Chika, Shiba and Koyomi: Sorry…

Sotsetsu: On with the script!

(Koyomi in a flower field with a frog, witch is by the way a random student with very cheap frog hat.).

[Silence]

Shito: [Louder] _in a far away, long ago, lived a king and his fair queen!_

[More silence]

Shito: …Screw this shit. Anyway, many years had they longed for a child…

[Once again silence]

Shito: …Koyomi, don't tell me you forgot your lines.

[Koyomi bolts up]

Koyomi: Oh, I'm supposed to say something?

Shito: [Facepalm] lets just skip this. A many years later, their wish was fulfilled. A daughter was born, and they called her Aurora.

[Shows cheap baby doll. We could have done better, but 'The genius' wasted our money on food]

Shito: Yes, they named her after the dawn for she filled their lives with sunshine. Then a great holiday was proclaimed throughout the kingdom, so that all of high or low estate might pay homage to the infant princess. And our story begins on that most joyful day.

[Random students walking in. Keyword: low budget.]

Shito: [Mumbles a curse] the king Stefan and his Queen received their friends, King Hubert and Prince Phillip. They wanted to unite their kingdoms by the marriage of their children, Princess Aurora and Prince Phillip.

[Michiru and Bekkou walk in what seems like what supposed to be prince and king clothes. Clothes fit Michiru for a rare reason.]

Michiru: [Mumbles] I'm going to kill whoever did the casting.

Bekkou: Don't worry, _prince, _you look great.

Michiru: [Throws curse at him] Geez, whatever. [Walks to a **cheap **crib and hands over the gift]

Shito: Ahem. The king and the queen also received three good fairies as guests: Mistress Flora,

Zen: [Is hanging on some rope. It snaps and he falls down. He curses with colourful words.]

Shito: [Tries to conceal smirk, which he fails him] mistress HAHAHA Fauna HAHAHA!

Shuiji: [Walks in because he doesn't want the same situation as Zen]

Shito: …you're supposed to fly.

Shuiji: [With a bored look] I don't want to die.

Shito: …you really can see his passion for this trainwreck of a play. And lastly, mistress Merryweather.

Toko: why do I have to play the fat ass?!

Shito: Be glad you got a rol. So deal with it.

Toko: [Mumbles] Fine…

Shito: Great cast we got here [Rolls eyes]. They were supposed to give one gift each one to the newborn princess. Flora gave her beauty, Fauna gave her the gift of song, and when Merryweather was going to do the same, an evil witch called Maleficent appeared.

[Momoka appears in random table cloth around her. Chika tries to get her in order to let her change into something proper but failed miserably.]

Momoka: ….Uhm muhahaha….?

Shito: [Very loud.] _If we had more money! _Wait, where is he?

[He's in Europe]

Shito:….Let's just pretend he's still here. Where were we…Ah! Since she was very angry because she had not received any invitation, she said:

Momoka: The princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. But, before the sun sets on her sixteenth birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die. [Tries laughing evilly but sounds like a cute kitten. Very heart-warming] can I go now?

Shito: Yes, and as fast as possible. ANYWAY, everybody was very shocked, but the third fairy had not given her gift yet, so she tried to repair as much as possible the curse of Maleficent. The princess would sleep instead of dying, and the spell would be broken with the first true love's kiss to the princess.

Michiru: Do I have to kiss someone…?

Shito: Like I said, deal with it.

Michiru: [Groans]

Shito: King Stefan, in order to prevent the curse to happen, said that every spinning wheel in the kingdom should be burnt. And so it happened.

Nevertheless the three good fairies thought that it would not stop Maleficent to accomplish her revenge, and so they planned to raise Aurora in the deep forest until the age of sixteen, when the curse finished, and then to take the princess to the castle again, with her parents. The king and the queen accepted this plan, but they were heart-broken. Let's hope for better acting in next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Z-loan.**

Shito: From take one, we got one or two reviews. One on D.A and one one . The author is truly pleased since she got no review since 2 months ago. She is crying from happiness in the corner. [Me crying in the corner of happiness]

Chika: What the * is fanfiction.

Michiru: Site with stories about certain games, anime and so forth. Our section mostly consist of yaoi stories with the couple HAHAHA ChikaXShito HAHAHA

Shito: Akastuki, we can kill them later. Moving on with this idiotic play, many sad and lonely years passed for King Stefan and his people. But as the time for the princess' sixteenth birthday drew near, the entire kingdom began to rejoice. For everyone knew that as long as Maleficent's domain, the forbidden mountains, thundered with her wrath and frustration, her evil prophecy had not yet been fulfilled.

Momoka: I though-

Shito: Script!

Chika: DON'T SCREAM TO HER YOU FREAK OF NATURE!

Michiru: Guys, calm down and continue.

[Mumbling]

Momoka: [screams in fake anger and rattles random words]

Shito: Can you speak-

[Michiru slams him on his head and glares at him] First I have to wear this warm shit in the summer and now I have to shut you up. So SHUT UP! Nobody is perfect!

[Everyone claps]

Shito: [Sighs] I'm sorry. Let's just skip this scene. Meanwhile, in the forest, although Aurora grew up without knowing that she was the daughter of a king and a queen. Wait, who plays the princess. [Looks at script. Burst out in laughing, witch surprised everyone because he usually doesn't laugh]

Chika: [groans in a lap dress. You know, low budget] I'm not going.

Michiru: But-

Chika: No is No. Didn't you learn that at sex ed.

Michiru: That is something completely different! [Walks over to Chika and kicks him to stage. She is very angry and red.] I have to cross dress and you have to cross dress. If you don't like, go away without the bonus.

Chika: Bonus?

Michiru: Yes bonus. B-O-N-U-S.

Chika: I-

Michiru: Also called bono, shpërblim, علاوة…

Chika:…What?

Michiru: շահութաբաժին, mükafat, অধিবৃত্তি, премия…

Chika: [looks to Shito] Dude, stop this. I don't understand the fuck she's saying.

Shito: Michiru…

Michiru: [Puppy eyes.]

Shito: You may continue.

Chika:…Oh dear lord.

Michiru: prima, Jiǎngjīn, boonus, prime, bonos, ბონუს, δώρο, Bōnasa. Shall I continue?

Chika: No

Michiru: bonis,

Chika: [Facepalm] I truly hate you all.

Michiru: also called

Chika:…Are you kidding me?

[Skip time]

Michiru:… casineb, casineb and hatar. Do you got it now?

Chika:…Yes. Where did you learn that?

Michiru: Google translator.

Chika:…

Shito:…Googule?

Michiru: Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG), or simply Google, is an American multinational corporation which provides Internet-related products and services, including Internet search, cloud computing, software and advertising technologies. Advertising revenues from AdWords generate almost all of the company's profits.

Chika: Dude, I hate you. I truly do.

Shito: I know, I know…

[Another timeskip]

Michiru: …During 2006–2010 Google Streetview camera cars collected about 600 gigabytes of data from users of unencrypted public and private Wi-Fi networks in more than 30 countries. No disclosures nor privacy policy was given to those affected, nor to the owners of the Wi-Fi stations. A Google representative claimed that the company was not aware of its own data collection activities until an inquiry from German regulators was received, and that none of this data was used in Google's search engine or other services. A representative of Consumer Watchdog replied, "Once again, Google has demonstrated a lack of concern for privacy. Its computer engineers run amok, push the envelope and gather whatever data they can until their fingers are caught in the cookie jar." In a sign that legal penalties may result, Google said it will not destroy the data until permitted by regulators.

Chika:…So much information.

Shito: How do hell did it got from Sleeping beauty till damn googule

Michiru: Google, idiot, Google.

Chika: I really need a break…

Shito: Well people, we learned how to say hate and bonus in every language possible in Google translator and what google is. What a fun [Sarcasm. Sarcasm] see you in next chapter of this world of idiocy.

Michiru: Chika-kun, Shall I lean you what love means in every language?

Chika: NO!


	3. Chapter 3

Shito: [Sighs] why do I have to do this?

Michiru: Like I said, deal with it.

Shito: I'm going to shoot her when were done. No one takes my lines and fires them to me.

Chika: Dude, continue this shit. This dress [it's a lap] itches like hell!

Shito: God kill me now. Aurora was very happy with the three peasants -the fairies- that had raised her.

Zen: Hey whitehead, how about we switch roles. Then I can flirt with megane-ko.

Chika: Go to hell!

Shito: What a bittersweet relationship. You can really feel the love [rolls eyes]. One day, the three good fairies were planning a party for the princess because her sixteenth birthday was approaching, while Aurora was picking some berries. And it was then when she met a young man.

Chika: They are true. Clothes fit you.

Michiru: [bright red] S-S-Shut u-u-up!

Shito: and they fell in love with each other immediately.

Michiru and chika: [Red as tomato] I do not like her/him!

Michiru: idioot, idiot, أحمق, ապուշ…

Chika: Did I mention that I hate you? Because I truly do.

Michiru: Báichī, idioto, idiootti

Chika: [mental breakdown]

Time skip.

Michiru: مورھ, thằng ngốc and ідыёт!

Shito: How cans he remember all that!

Michiru: Dude, I'm made out of data. So long if it's not getting lost, It will remain in my brain, motherf*cker.

Shiba: Miaw, she's fierce. Shall we make eachoter hot.

Michiru:…Chika, can you kill him?

Chika: With pleasure.

Time skip.

Shito: You are a great friend to the people around you, huh?

Chika: Of course! I took Michiru's request.

Shito: Whatever, thrash.

Chika: OI!

Shito: It's OI OI pirate, dumb fool.

Michiru: dom dwa-

Shito: Finish that word, and I'll kill you.

Chika: In Soviet Russia Michiru will kill you!

Shito:…Can we continue, please?

Chika: Alright, since you begged [smirks]

Shito: You're on my dead list after Michiru, that you know that. Further with 'the flow of genius', Aurora said that they would meet at her cottage in the evening and she came back home. When she arrived to the cottage, she told the good fairies about the young man she had just met.

Chika: Dude, I'm not a sissy who talks and cries about their lovelife.

Shito: Shut up, pussy.

Chika:….

Shito: and they told her the story of her birth and the curse, as well as her future marriage with Prince Phillip, what made her cry because she had to get married to someone she did not love.

Chika: Me crying is like you laughing. Impossibru!

Shito: Michiru, don-

Michiru: onmoontlik, i pamundur…

Shito: [bangs forehead against wall]

Time skip.

Chika: Hey Michiru, want some lemon?

Michiru: [slaps chika] PERVERT! I'm not ready yet!

Chika:…?


	4. Chapter 4

Chika: What did I do wrong?

Shito: You threw a innuendo to Michiru.

Chika:...What is an innuendo?

Shito: A sexual suggestion.

Chika: I did WHAT!

Shito: You asked her for a lemon, in other words sex.

Chika: [blush like mad] OH GOD!

Shito: with the sentence "Do you want a lemon?" You technically asked "Do you want sex with me?"

Chika:...

Shito: Got it?

Chika:...

Shito: Akatsuki?

Chika:...

Shito: Are you alright?

Chika:..I died from the inside.

Shito:...Shall we continue this play?

Chika: So fast as possible.

Shito: That afternoon, Prince Phillip announced to his father that he had decided to get married to a peasant girl instead of Princess Aurora, -he did not know that they were the same person.

Michiru: No, I don't.

Shito: Yes you do.

Michiru: Not with this pervert!

Shito: Michiru, he doesn't know what an innuendo means.

Michiru: Say what...

Shito: He wanted to eat the fruit lemon with you, not having sex with you.

Michiru: He doesn't know what an innuendo was [burst out in laughing]

Chika: [Embarrassed and blushing]

Shito: It seems that Chika acts like a middle school girl and Michiru like a High school Tsundere.

Chika an Michiru: We're not!

Shito: You do. In the evening, Aurora arrived to the castle for the party, and when she was alone in her new bedroom,...

Chika: I feel stalked...

Shito: You're in a movie. With a dress. Of course anyone would watch.

Chika: Pervs...

Shito: Yeah, sure. We are the pervs while you threw a direct innuendo towards Michiru.

Chika: Oh shut up!

Shito: To bad, I ain't because i'm the narrator and the 'genius'. Ahem, the fire goes out, and out of a shadow, Maleficent shortly appears, then there's only a ball of light visible. Aurora gets up in spell, and starts to walk towards the light. Aurora slowly walks up a staircase

Chika: [walks on stairs following a cheap lamp.] *Paints* How many stairs are here?

Shito: Hundred. Bon voyage, idiot. You need it. And Michiru?

Michiru: Yes?

Shito: While Chika walks the stairs, could you learn him the word love in every language?

Chika: NO NO NO NO!

Michiru: With pleasure. Liefde, dashuri, حب...

Chika: [Grumbles]

Shito: [Smirks]

Meanwhile, forty stairs later

Chika: *paints* How could she walks so many wearing without getting tired?

Michiru: I don't know.

[Very cheap sound effect]

Yuuta: Hey you two!

Michiru: Hi yuuta.

Chika: The fuck you are doing here?

Yuuta: ShiShi,

Chika: That ass...

Yuuta: Told me to tell Michiru that he must learn you [points to Chika] what girl means in every language.

Chika: [grumbles] Once this is over, I'll crush his 'pretty face'.

Michiru: Alright, tell him I started already!

Yuuta: Ok, byebye!

[cheap sound effect and smoke]

Michiru: let's begin.

Chika: Dear god why?

Michiru: meisie, vajzë, فتاة,

Twenty stairs later.

Michiru: девојка, dievča, dekle, chica...

Chika: Wait a sec, Chika?

Michiru: Yep, in spanish your name means girl. I knew you had a inner housewife, but not that you had such a femininity. XD

Chika: I'm going to kill you!

Michiru: No, you won't.

Chika: Why shouldn't I?

Michiru: Because the readers surely would like to see me ending up with you, instead of Shiba. Ain't I right?

Chika:...fine, but only because of the readers. Who are they anyway anyway?

Michiru: people who read this and other story's. Thanks to those who reviewed and reading this story. [Bows deeply]

Chika: Talk about breaking the fourth wall...

Michiru: [Kicks him. Lvl: Tsundere]

Chika: dammit, I learned her to well...

Meanwhile on set.

Shito: [Walks over to readers with cookie in hand] Here is your cookie as promised, Tyurruu-San. Thank you for reading 'death'. The other one can get a hug from me, because the author loves the people who review. Thank you very much. [Hugs readers].


	5. Chapter 5

Chika: F*ck those stairs and that ass.

Shito: akatsuki, act like a proper lady.

Chika: I'll beat you properly up!

Shito: Now, now. Don't get unladylike.

Chika: Shut up!

Michiru: [glares at the bot of them, they gulp] For the case you didn't know, I wan to and this as soon as possible. So, CONTINUE!

Shito: Sassy Michiru is sassy. Aurora starts to reach towards it with her left hand.

Chika: Why left hand?

Shito: [Ignores] In a flash of light, Aurora touches the spindle with the middle finger.

Chika: Why her middle finger?

Shito: Michiru, kick him.

Michiru: With pleasure. [kicks chika in the back. He falls unconscious.]

Shito: Maleficent turns beside, revealing Aurora laying face-down on the floor.

Momoka: [Looks at Michiru with new light] Wow, you kick hard 0_0

Shito: The three good fairies placed Aurora on a bed in the tower, and made all the kingdom to sleep until the spell be broken because they did not want the king and the queen to find out that their daughter was under the curse of Maleficent. They also wanted that when the princess waked up, she should be accompanied by all the people she knew and loved.

[The A-loan team drag Chika to the bed.]

Toko: Geez, what a light weight. He's even lighter than me.

Zen: Of course, you are the fat-ass after all.

Toko: Zen! [smacks him after putting Chika in bed and runs away while crying]

Shito: ...Boy, that escalated quickly.

Shuiji:...That didn't go well...

Shito: For the first time I agree. And i agree we need to let the dog apologize to the 'fat-ass' while we continue this play. By some words from the king Hubert before the slumber, the fairies found out that Prince Phillip was the young man Aurora met in the forest. They remembered that he was supposed to go to the cottage that evening, so they went to look for him. However, Maleficent had just arrived to the cottage in order to capture the man that could break the spell with the first true love's kiss.

Momoka: [Hold sugar glass and hits Michiru on the head with it. Michiru act like she's unconscious.]

Shuiji: Why didn't you do that with Akatsuki-Senpai?

Shito: 'cause it's more fun this way. [Smirks] And what a surprise for her, that man was Prince Phillip. She took him to the forbidden mountains, and the good fairies followed them to rescue the prince.

Zen: I said I'm sorry!

Toko: Hmp, I liked Shuiji more than you now. Shuiji?

Shuiji: [Does a victory dance in his head] yes?

Toko: Shall we go on a date tomorrow?

Shuiji: [Acts cooly but cheers inside] Would be great.

Zen: [Sulks]

Shito; When Prince Phillip was tied and Maleficent went out of the tower, the fairies helped him to escape and to fight with the evil witch when she discovered that he was not in the tower. Phillip run to the castle of Aurora but the evil witch cast a spell that caused the growth of thick thorny bushes, so the prince had to stop before them. Phillip stops only shortly, then starts cutting a way with his sword. Finally, he is through.

Michiru: [just slashes in random direction with wooden sword. Remember the word cheap.] *Sighs* This is stupider than chika who tries to speak Spanish...

Shito: We ware supposed to have a dragon, but we didn't have the money. So we go to the kissing part. Phillip and the fairies get inside the castle and up to the tower, where Aurora lies on her bed. Phillip slowly walks towards her and gives her a faint kiss on her lips. Aurora awakens, sees Phillip and begins to smile.

Michiru: I'm not going to kiss here.

Shito: But thou-

Michiru: i'm going to have a make-out session with him. [Starts kissing Chika roughly. He awakens and seems to enjoy it. They kiss with full passion and fight over the dominance in the kiss] You wanted a 'lemon' [Gets whip out of her pocket.] Than you can get one. [purrs]

Chika: I would surely have a lemon with you.

[Starts undressing eachother]

Shito: What a hea- Wait a sec, WHAT! PEOPLE, GO GO GO! THIS IS T RATED, NOT M. GO! NOW!

[everybody starts running away from set]

Time skip.

[Michiru and Chika walk downstairs. Michiru is wearing the dress while Chika wears the male clothes. They both kneed down before the throne and Michiru embraced her mother (koyomi).

Shito: And they lived happily ever after... Who wanted to kill sotsetsu. Who's coming?

Everybody: ME!

**Fin!**

**A/N**  
**What am i sad that this ended ;-;. I'm gonna miss writing this parody. I thought that Michiru as tsundere would be hilarious. And Shito as narrator would be to funny for words XD. I thank the reviewers for leaving a comment behind, and the readers who toke some time to read this chaos.**

**I give a chose for the next story i'll write.**

**1. A cute MichiruxChika oneshot.**

**2. A multiple angst romance story with Michiru becoming evil.**

**3. a fifty sentence live journal live kinda story with all characters of Z-loan.**

**Please chose.**


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